free writing assignment | sans edit 7/23 | 15 minutes each
1 -image and word my eyes my mind absorbs image cognitively emotionally as that without language can be transferred directly negating interpretation as such form as such color as such line as such assembled by the retina translated not. There is immediacy in seeing . the reflexive eye focuses dilates scans eliminates and absorbs. The cerebral reaction may be slow or quick but the eye discriminates before the seer sees I suppose. There is word which they say emanates God. The word from the “beginning”. The resonance of sound as making the vibration of time and place.The word that is spoken and the word that is read the word that is written. Speaking before thinking and hearing without listening. Seeing without retaining is sometimes impossible and other times our blindness our elimination of input our visual antennae is tuned to an obliterated state. Auto drive might kick in and there we can coast into an oblivion of not seeing.
In making image or in writing words how do we source the content. Mark making has an immediacy in a primitive childish action where then cognitively and emotionally we have the opportunity to respond. One mark in reaction to another. The allowance for this access this the opportunity for non cerebral mark making versus the thought formation that rises with language and ideas comes with a thread attached to a course already determined by a certain stream of consciousness; therfore once removed. A second generation of interpretation is how I experience writing versus imaging.
2. image |word
ordering chaoctic words has all the appeal to me of herding cats. Then again gibberish words with containers of thoughts may or may not incite meaning. Derivatives of ideas cant help but drive the process once the first word is spoken the first mark made then the reaction begins the spool of reaction may unravel. Mostly I have trouble knowing my point – always I can see many connections - ideas that connect in a parallel relationship to eachother. Its when I must conclude deduce arrange with theory that I feel at a loss. What is the connection may seems evident to me but not in a definable way. I suppose that I am too fast -that I skip from step to step forgetting to make the links in the chain of deduction and developing a theory. But in image making I love to find the connection the relationship the parts - they want me to consider them as a whole. I feel a certain freedom where Im not implicated by what I make as much as I feel implicated by what Ive written. I feel responsible for someones understanding for my words in a way that I don’t when I mark and there is a lot of room for interpretation – I don’t have to control someone else perception of it in the same way. Also there is a freedom in speaking - a certain immediate idiocy that is allowed for versus committing whole letters to whoe words in a whole written context. If I had the freedom and comparison of many languages maybe I would feel the linguistic palette expanded. At times at home when I feel intimate it is easy for me to don another personae with another accent and enter into a different palette of language that may be a steroype. Usually as comic relief while I wash the dishes or flirt with my man. A yenta emerges or some crazy russian lady with an adlib appetite and a raunchy exposé. But That kind of pretend is like a character shift and language becomes persona and persona can play with words in new ways. I could imagine that it is like choosing which color or medum to use and how that defines the the action of making.The character also relieves me of responsibility for her subtext.
Factures of ideas that are un-concluded un-distilled just ideas that floats freely through like an abstraction now this I like to connect with. The weightlessness of concept without having to deductively theorize or conclude. Im just considering if that makes me feel more comfortable about the “idea” of writing. What is it that inhibits me? Its like an irrevocable act . I loathed keeping a diary when I was young any admissions there were sure to be found and judged. My insecurities layed there for all to witness pathetic fearful I was afraid to embarrass myself reveal self loathing reveal my rage reveal my lack of understanding. In contrast I could loose myself endlessly in the act of drawing playing with colors with forms shading marking meditating in the joy of the exploration allowing memory and abstraction to merge without feeling judged. The images could hide and contain all that I felt in a secret code.
Even now as I write with this exercise as a format I am becoming increasingly concerned with the idea that I might have to find a common thread between my freely writing and the act of editing formulating a conclusive structure deducing a point. Maybe if I look at it like editing a body of images the process of first finding the association between images either as juxtaposition or connection. Then usually an elimination process would follow whereby you select the strongest links the most connective gestures or energy. Distilling which images retain the essence of meaning . Which images build foundation together as a collective.
I forget to consider my love of the graphic of words themselves. As a designer most often I consider words for their grahic appeal how to make them effective visually. The order of words and how they are perceived to give language sysmbol is a profound intersection of language and image for me and for most people. That’s it ill write a thesis that is all symbols. All words as image. Now that sounds doable.